Since I last blogged, two years, one week and six days ago, I've had a number of failures and successes. Losing weight has not been among my successes. In fact, I'm seventeen pounds heavier now than I was then. My new weight loss goal is 107 pounds. I have a lot of work ahead of me.
My biggest challenge is staying on track. I've tried on and off to lose weight. When I start to lose weight I feel awesome, I'm drinking lots of water, eating lots of veggies, I don't crave junk food, I feel satiated with what I do eat, I just know I'm going to reach my goal. And then something happens. I fall off the wagon. And it's really difficult to pull myself back on the wagon when my hands are full of chips, donuts and soda. Not to mention my lack of arm strength; I have the weakest arms in the world.
Since I wrote last, I met Adam. He is everything I have ever wanted in a partner. He is honest, funny, caring and selfless. He talks to me and he listens to me. He comforts me when I'm sad. He has my back when someone upsets me. He is a fantastic father figure to my daughter, Patience. He fell in love with me just the way I am because he sees what is inside of me. For the first time in my life I know what true love is. I always heard that "true love is worth fighting for," but in reality you don't have to fight for true love at all because it's right and it comes naturally.
One evening last spring while we were eating supper Adam asked Patience if he could have her blessing to marry her mother. She smiled from ear to ear. Then he got down on one knee with a ring in his hand and asked me to marry him. Our wedding will be on August 10th.
I found my wedding dress. It is complimenting to my figure and I love the way it looks on me; however, I would still like to be smaller than I am now when I walk down that aisle. My dress can always be taken in. I remember going to a wedding once, and when the bride started her walk down the aisle, someone near me said, "That's a big bride." It was very mean spirited and superficial. I don't want anyone focusing on my weight on my wedding day. I certainly won't reach my goal weight by August, but I can
improve my weight by then.
Adam's parents have been successfully losing weight on Weight Watchers for the past few months. I've decided to start WW for a few different reasons. One, I've seen that it works. Two, I've been successful in the past with counting fat and calories, and WW makes that easy with a points system. Three, if I put money into a weight loss plan I will be more likely to stick to it.
I will purchase my Weight Watchers membership today and begin counting points tomorrow. In the January/February issue of the WW magazine there is an article about a reader who for her food log instead of writing down everything she eats, she takes photos of everything she eats. I think that is an awesome idea! So, starting tomorrow I will be sharing my photo food log here in my blog.
Another article in the same issue of the magazine gave this advice for people who have lost weight in the past and gained it back:
"Create a Positive List identifying five things you accomplished the last time you lost weight, like going down a few dress sizes. Now add five new goals (such as walking an extra half mile each week). On days your motivation is waning, read your list. And add to it when you try something new like salmon sushi or cardio-kickbox class. Remember, the list should focus on small goals that make a big impact on your attitude."
So, here is my
Positive List:
Last Time:
- I felt comfortable in my body.
- I was able to wear all the clothes I wanted to.
- I was confident.
- I had structure.
- I exercised daily.
Goals for This Time:
- Change my relationship with food.
- Gain energy.
- Learn to drink enough water.
- If I slip up one day or one weekend, forgive myself and get right back to it.
- See the scale without having to look around my belly.
